Some Thoughts Before I Go

Its crazy to think I’ll be leaving in less than two weeks! Bags are getting packed, goodbyes are being said, priorities are shifting and the countdown has begun.

People have been asking me if I’m getting excited and of course the answer is yes! I’m excited for the people I will meet, the stories I’ll hear, the comical moments of me trying to speak French, the tears I will shed over the lives changed, the joy and frustrations of communal living, trying new things, and all the things I can’t even place an expectation on.

At the same time, I’ve also had other thoughts floating around as I get ready. I find it comforting to know God is preparing my heart for this experience. These are the thoughts that have been coming back to me, the things I have been wrestling with for the last year:

  • Success like so much in the world can be fleeting, and the sting of failure can cut deeper than you’d ever imagine.
  • No matter how humble you think you are… there’s a deeper humility.
  • That admitting you are not as strong as you think you are is relieving but feels like you are betraying yourself.
  • That moving from a depressing haze to an all too bright clarity can be a very frightening thing.

I know these thoughts that keep me up at night will follow me to Africa but here’s to hoping that by focusing on serving others and allowing myself time to breathe and be still, there arises some clarity, direction and renewed hope.

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